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Posts Tagged ‘gray’

love. love. love.

how can i move on when i’m still in-love with you?
…so i’m not moving.

the embedded video is more than enough for my valentine’s blogpost.

enjoy valentine’s day everyone. make love, not babies! cheers! 😉

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The Selfish Ass

‘I do not want to push myself to someone’s schedule. If you are busy I would not mind disturbing you unless it is really, really important but I hate being taken for granted.. though I am a self-confessed bipolar.’

This had me sighing for a minute. That line is exactly the statement my not-so-recent ex dropped in my multiply account. VERBATIM! And this is one valid reason for me to, at least, stop visiting my multiply account. You know the feeling when you want to recall your college memories (that i can only find in multiply) and you end up staring blankly in-front of the monitor because you can’t do away with the idea that your ex played a big part during those years.

The statement had me thinking, too, as to how stupid (or what-have-you) I have been in my past relationships. I hate myself for taking that particular ex for granted. I mean, the idea of letting someone feel that way. Gets? Well maybe, I had my own reason for doing so but please, Vince, wake up!

I really hope I’d not end up hearing/reading that line again in my future melonshake/s and/or relationship/s. It makes me think I’m super bad. Worse, it helps me prove to myself that I am not capable of loving, of seriously committing to someone. Because as of now, I think, and I am sure of this, I am a selfish ass.

p.s.: sorry ex. 😦

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twinkletoes

please skip this blog if you despise mushiness. :p but if you decide to continue reading please click play to the embedded video below. para may drama ang pagbasa. hahaha

___________________________________________________

dear you,

just this afternoon, i bought a pack of brownies from red ribbon. i didn’t know what brought me to the store and moved me to buy it. still sweet. still gratifying. it’s never changed since the time you first gave me the same thing.

:)

🙂

for months, i have never heard any updates from you. really no means of communication, right? well maybe a friend told me you changed the style of your hair. otherwise there’s none.

until one midnight, we finally met somewhere online — ym..

(note: ‘g’ is used for security purposes. it’s not the original yahoo i.d. and before the conversation shown here, may mga nauna ng kamustahan and all.)

vincentamorio: wait, ikaw ni g?
g: yep,pretty much twinkletoes
vincentamorio: haha. i never thought patulan nimo akong pangamusta
g: ngno dli man pud nko patulan?
vincentamorio: dugay na kaya ta wala nagcommunicate. jurassic years na.
g: months guro.haha
vincentamorio: months, 4-5 months na ata. haha.
g: unya asa n man ka karon?
vincentamorio: naa poland.
vincentamorio: gensan ka?
g: yup, unsa ang ginabusyhan nimo?
vincentamorio: acads. acing for the final sem. kapuy na skwela
g: maayo eh
vincentamorio: lagi. ikaw?
vincentamorio: somebody looks like you in school.
vincentamorio: 1st year

vincentamorio: hahahahha

g: akwali in our school 2.haha kambal nko.

—-some parts of the conversation kept confidential—-

vincentamorio: that sounds cool. murag exciting na a. tyrrany na. haha
twinkletoes: kbalo jud ka ba,haha.

vincentamorio: of course. sige, tulog na. keep safe
twinkletoes: keep safe pud. gudnyt!

—–end—–

finally, i’m relieved. you called me twinkletoes again. we’re back to being ‘friends.’ we’re back to the terms we used when we were still good friends. we’re ok, i hope. :))

cheers,

your then twinkletoes



p.s.: i know you’ve been reading my blogs. i know. :p

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May 22, 2009

Untitled-1
I just have to learn by heart every conversation i had with my two other friends whose names i need not mention here.  They were a lot more impish than me, at least, and they take things the coolest way they can. I envy them. They forego and forget. I can’t do the same but I’m pushing myself to do so. I have to!

This is it!

After grueling myself with the issues I have to solve alone, I am finally putting an end to this distress — NOW! I don’t think I’ll get over this with the time frame I’ve given myself, but at least I have known the limit and it draws to a close right this moment.

No more drama.

No more palpitations (?).

No more feelings.

I weighed things out for a number of times then and realized I cannot be happier until I let go of this feeling. You were the first to be taken seriously so goes the fear in me that you will be the hardest to forget. And i hate saying this. =(

Take note, this is not a ‘hello-I’m-single’ post because I have never wanted to rush things out. For the last three months, I have known people and have stopped myself from getting into the same feeling again. I know there was not much seriousness in me so I’d rather stop before I fall. I didn’t care then if I hurt people. I felt bad though, but it was the easiest escape that time.

Anyway, this time I know I have to use my brain. That means knowing what better things I have to do for myself. And for now, I only know one thing and I quote Rea for this: ‘I only have myself to depend on.’

Enough said. I had good time having you though. Have fun… gray. =)

*game over.*

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