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Archive for May, 2009

I didn’t know why while driving around our nondescript place,  i felt much excitement upon seeing the renovated Dunkin Donuts. Now, it’s a lot more like a store in the city. *grins for the poor place*

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The exhilaration was more of because i wanted to have coffee not inside our house, not inside the office. I know DD’s coffee is not as good as Blugre’s or Starbucks’ but i don’t care. It’s just that some things are better bought. 🙂

But before finally driving my way home,  while counting some friends left, i realized no one’s going to share coffee moments with me. Nobody’s home among the very short list of friends i have here. No Ron. No Kris John. No Hapi. Only me! Sounds soo pathetic and boring — more self-actualization moments?? no way!

Maybe, the excitement was due to my forever  longing to drink coffee and to puff cigars at the same time — the usual ‘tambay mode’ i nightly lived in Davao 2 months ago. And maybe I just want to live that kind of life again — where all you have after an exhausting day are a cup of coffee and sticks of marlboro. Perfect night!

Days from now, I’ll be Davao-based again. But my coffee-mates were all gone — GONE! I might as well end up having coffee alone. Hmmm. That’s no problem! Someone’s coming along the way to light the sticks and share coffee with me. Natraffic lang!

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May 22, 2009

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I just have to learn by heart every conversation i had with my two other friends whose names i need not mention here.  They were a lot more impish than me, at least, and they take things the coolest way they can. I envy them. They forego and forget. I can’t do the same but I’m pushing myself to do so. I have to!

This is it!

After grueling myself with the issues I have to solve alone, I am finally putting an end to this distress — NOW! I don’t think I’ll get over this with the time frame I’ve given myself, but at least I have known the limit and it draws to a close right this moment.

No more drama.

No more palpitations (?).

No more feelings.

I weighed things out for a number of times then and realized I cannot be happier until I let go of this feeling. You were the first to be taken seriously so goes the fear in me that you will be the hardest to forget. And i hate saying this. =(

Take note, this is not a ‘hello-I’m-single’ post because I have never wanted to rush things out. For the last three months, I have known people and have stopped myself from getting into the same feeling again. I know there was not much seriousness in me so I’d rather stop before I fall. I didn’t care then if I hurt people. I felt bad though, but it was the easiest escape that time.

Anyway, this time I know I have to use my brain. That means knowing what better things I have to do for myself. And for now, I only know one thing and I quote Rea for this: ‘I only have myself to depend on.’

Enough said. I had good time having you though. Have fun… gray. =)

*game over.*

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Vocabulary 101

Voyeur

-somebody who watches for sexual pleasure;

-persistent observer of misery or scandal: a fascinated observer of distressing, sordid or scandalous events.

Exhibitionist

-a psychological disorder causing a compulsion to show the genitals in public.

Joel Ryan- Peeping

Just this evening, I finished watching the 5 sex scandals involving hayden kho and the thre other ladies — katrina halili, maricar reyes and the brazilian model. The five videos were actually not as tormenting as the adult videos of Maria Ozawa but the hell, i think they’re really reprehensible enough.

Why am i giving a damn say on this issue? after all, i don’t look like vicky belo or kris lawrence, at least, who were the nearest connections to Kho and Halili, respectively. Oh well, what pissed me off was the persistent reaction of Senator Bong Revilla on the issue. After all, this is no news to showbiz! I need not name names — i know you have two or three personalities in mind who experienced the same way.

Yes, i have anticipated your reactions. Eh kasi andaming babae na ang nabiktima nya??

Before I sound like Hayden Kho’s lawyer, let me tell you i’m super baffled while watching the videos. Si Hayden lang ba may alam na may camera? For all we-who-watched-the-videos know, hayden sets up and turns off the camera.

One thing is for sure, Katrina’s videos were under her consent. And seeing her cry in NBI and somewhere made me feel so bad — bad because she was super enjoying the dance on the video and then poof! Her other video was of course unforgivable!

The other two, i think, were victims of Kho’s psychological disorder. He is an exhibitionist. And poor lovely ladies, they have been used by Kho in his exhibition shows.

To Hayden Kho —> those were good jobs, if undocumented! i mean, everybody knows men do the same — they just don’t set up cameras to show their genitals. good luck, then doctor!

To Katrina —> ok, you don’t look good with your present hairstyle. haha. and if you know you’re right, go! ba’t mo pa kasi dineny nuon ang lahat ng to, o see, natotorrent na tuloy!

To Bong Revilla —> ayan na, 2010 na next year,.. umi-epal! ouuyyy.

this is the last time na magpaka-apekto ko sa issue. hello, wala gani ko natinag sa swine flu issue. leche ni. haha.

———————

p.s.: to whom it may concern: ayaw pud tawun ikalat tong mahiwagang video. ha?  you know who you are. =)


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Credits to Miss Kathymar Mateo

PDSC-0900

for giving me an idea to make a photoblog like this.

Talk about self-indulgence.

1. A picture of you in your room.

1_598438500ltaken when i was still in 2nd year college. and yes, i’m that limp-looking guy.

2. A picture of you posing with someone you don’t actually like.

2.i actually don’t want to post a picture for this number but for the heck of this entire entry, i have this pic. and tan-awag tarong naa sya dira. di nako sya feel. clue?? naaht!

3. A picture with a former crush.

3LMAO. Ayawg palag anj.

4. A picture of you very drunk.

beans871

once in a blue moon lang naman ako nalalasing. so ayan. hardcore!

5. A picture of you with a parent or two.

2o kuridas na, whole family na na.

6. A picture of you on your birthday or favorite holiday.

03012008013my 19th birthday.

7. A picture of you from your younger years.

7murag dili kaayo bata no? ari inyo ay..

7.1pangitaag tarong kung asa ko dira.  gawd, the hair. super straight.

8. A picture of you in one of your favorite outfits.

8.1actually ang shirt lang. don’t ask me why. i just love it.

9. A picture of you making a goofy face at the camera.

9this is soo nakakahiya. pero kebs. the other side of the rubians.

10. A picture you might have edited to make yourself more attractive.

10no comment. don’t dare answer kung nagwork ang pag-edit.

11. A picture of you in a team or club you’re in.

11Speak Up! 2008. I’m with the members of the UP Communicators’ Guild, with her highness, Madame Kuren Estrellada.

12. A picture of a night you regret.

12Peopling Autoshop. We were having fun lang..  And everybody went dancing. Ako ay pinipilit subalit nagpapapresyo. Kaya umuwi akong walang bakas ng saya sa dancefloor. sayang din. tsk.

13. A picture of you showing a new haircut.

Picture 076anj and i were chatting last week when she asked for a picture from me with my new haircut. ow yeah, and the picture was poorly taken gamit ang webcam ng laptop.

14. A picture of you truly being yourself.

PDSC-1176ako naman kasi ay maginoo pero mejo bastos.

15. Your most recent picture.

IMG0145AMay 18, 2009 at Dolores Resort. Gawd, bumababoy!

16. A picture of you being absolutely ridiculous.

IMGP8648At nep-c’s place. I have lots of ridiculous pics actually – this is the least. waw. (kailangan ba jud magwig ani na number tymar? haha)

17. A picture you’re tagged in on  facebook that you aren’t actually in.

17wall photo by lisha. ako daw ang ‘the 2 bullies.’ kamown!

18. A picture of a time in your life that’s over but you wish it hasn’t.

wackygawd, the bonding with these jerks. the thought that some of my friends are bound to leave is somewhat sad. graduate na ang uban, ang uban dili pa. pero i still want more bonding!

19. A picture in your life that’s over and you couldn’t be more thankful that it has.

19we were super exhausted. as in. human na jud ang crisis communication subject and that’s more than something a BACA student would really be thankful for.

20. A picture with your oldest friend.

1_470003506lkanang, ang oldest na ginamean diri kay pinakadugay man no? dili ang pinakatigulang? LOL. yes, he is ron and we’ve been friends since Kinder 1.

20. A picture with your newest friends.

GDSC-1389ow yeah, the 3-turning-4BACA. When i say friends, kanang friends jud. so sila!

22. A picture when you were anything but happy even if you were smiling and did your best to hide it.

301-5153according to kathymar, badtrip ang ibig sabihin ng number 22. so ito yun. ang panggigisa ni nicole in one of my classes last sem! sheet.

23. A picture of you that you had no idea was being taken.

23during crisis comm seminar discussion at Kasagigan, Torres. dahil bored ang lahat ay nang-gugoodtime na lang ang iba. whoever took this, pakyu! kinawat baya ng juice na akong giinom.

24. A picture of you when you are a different person that you are now.

Picture 089and as mentioned in my previous blog, i’m hired. and being hired comes the idea that the real world is a lot more different from what i used to think when i was still 18. =)

25. A picture of you in a fashion ‘DON’T.’

25at nung sumikat ang ganitong buhok ay nakisabay ako. i never realized back then na stupid pala ang buhok na ito. holy shit! like, so jologs!

26. A picture of you in a swimming attire — whether you love it or loathe it.

26sa kadahilanang nahihiya akong ipakita ang aking trunks na super wag na lang, ay ito na lang muna ang mai-ooffer ko. ang swimming cap at ang goggles ko.

27. A picture of you taking a shot/ chugging a beer/ doing something sort of mixed drink.

DSC03528at dahil paminsan2 lang naman talaga akong uminom, ay sinisigurado ng mga sunog-baga kong friends na nadodocument ito. at ito ang patunay.

28. A picture of yourslef that you hate.

28hanapin nyo. hanapin nyo si beans! lecheng bata yan, long hair! LOL

29. A picture of you with someone you love.

Picture 050wholesome. yeah. walay ‘someone’ but ‘somethree’ naa. my boisterous siblings. T2!

30. A picture of how you’d like the world to see you.

1_735012022lganito. as long as i know i can, i will always have a helping hand. i will always be someone you can count on. oha!

31. A picture that describes how you’d like to spend everyday.

1_522573320lang mabuhay ng hubad sa katotohanan, everyday of my life, not minding other people’s thoughts of me.  isog! ang mabuhay ng free!

32. A picture of a time when everything is changing.

1_487493533lalready changed. =( we can’t have this kind of bonding as much as we want to.

33. A picture that makes your heart hurt.

zxasyou-who-must not-be-named.

-wa man gimention na dapat naa ko no?

34. A picture that makes your heart smile.

301_4214cute. cute. i really love this. and rai, peace man!

35. A picture of one of the best times of your life.

itsura-mo6946yeah. this was december, last year. i just love the people i’m with. need i say more?

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abhorrence!

lately, i have been wondering why some things happen just the way they aren’t supposed to be. i’m more than awake to know enough what’s happening around. =(

now, is there something wrong if I got the seat of an executive secretary?

is there something wrong with my future plans that i have to be hated?

is there something wrong if i can’t join my friends on a night swimming because i have to work?

is there anything wrong with me that people need not to talk to me the same way as before?

rocks and the sea.

rocks and the sea.

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dilemma

the reason

the reason

and now i’m caught between two important things.

and now i have to make an important decision – a mature and right decision.

and now i don’t know what to do. very confused. =(

this is it! (i don’t know if this would make me jump or just sit in a corner).

others unemployed; beans (an undergrad), HIRED!

TODAY, is my first day as an office person. come clean. come professional.

p.s.: the picture is exactly the fax machine on my table. hay. the job is very commarts.

*sigh*

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look at me mom, you’re my number one! (NIDO COMMERCIAL)

ang saya pag kasing cool nya ang lahat ng mama sa mundo.

ang saya pag kasing cool nya ang lahat ng mama sa mundo, promise!

at dahil araw mo ngayon, kasama ng iba pang hawt mommas in the world, gusto kong palobohin ang lahat ng kulay meron ang lobo at paputukin ang makukulay na confettis at pakawalan ang mga butterflies na kulay magenta.

ganyan ka ka-espesyal. kahit alam kong imposible, naiisipan ko pa ring gawin.

pero hindi. hindi ko magagawa yan lahat ngayon.

but worry not. maraming dilaw na butterflies sa hardin. maraming kalat sa bahay, pwede na yung confetti. at uso naman ang sipon — pwedeng-pwede itong palobohin. talk about eewness. haha

sa tingin ko naman, sapat na ang malaman mong mahal na mahal ka namin. na kahit pa papipiliin kami kung sino sa inyo ni tita shawi ang gusto naming maging mama ay.. ay… syempre ikaw pa rin ang pipiliin namin.

*magdiwang*

happy mothers’ day mama! *kisses*

lovelots,

beans

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